As I was watching the movie, Who The F*ck Is That Guy: The Fabulous Journey of Michael Alago, written and directed by Drew Stone, I was amazed by Michael’s many accomplishments: that he shattered stereotypes by being an openly gay man in the heavy metal and punk rock community; that he worked as an A&R executive for Elektra and Geffen Records, signing bands such as Metallica and White Zombie; and that he was able to overcome addiction and HIV and is now living a clean and healthy life.
And yet what stood out so boldly during the movie was not so much Michael’s accomplishments but the impact that he had on others and how they connected to him so warmly. Watching the heartfelt way heavy metal and punk rock artists such as James Hetfield, Rob Zombie and most notably John Lydon gushed over Michael simply jumped off the screen.
And this sentiment was not unique to the movie. Anyone who’s met Michael knows—he just has this way about him that draws people in. So, in interviewing him about his new book, I Am Michael Alago: Breathing Music. Signing Metallica. Beating Death, co-written with Laura Davis-Chanin, I wanted to get to the bottom of his superpower. How did he connect with people so well?
And what I came up with was that Michael is part love you and part f*ck you.
Let’s break that down. First and foremost, Michael loves—directly and unabashedly. “I think my mother always instilled it in me to be a good person. So, what does that mean? You love other people, you help other people—all kinds of people,” Michael told me. “I think that’s why people relate to me and respond to me. I always want to help somebody … If you can give people just a little bit of hope—they walk away appreciating that.”
At the same time, Michael’s f*ck you instinct is less hurtful, and more about a willingness to be honest and authentic with people. “In my personal and in my professional life, I have always told the truth,” Michael explained. “And I think when you tell the truth, people respond to that. People want to know more.”
This honest approach to life manifested early on for Michael regarding his sexuality. Growing up in Brooklyn in the ’70s, he never formally “came out” because he saw no reason to be in the closet. He was very upfront about both his romantic and sexual interest, as well as his lack of concern for people who disapproved of his being gay.
“When you come out, even today … people have fear. I talk about never being in the closet in my book. I had this bravado as a teenager. I’m sure in retrospect I was naïve. I just never cared what people thought about me. So, I was just this young person who was ‘f*ck you if you don’t like me,’” Michael recalled.
Soon, Michael’s approach to his personal life would spill over into his professional life. As a booking agent at The Ritz and as an A&R executive, he had to love music but be honest and assertive with people who he could not book or sign.
“Loving an artist is one part of my professional life. For 25 years, I listened to music … in the form of independent vinyl or cassettes because I did A&R mostly in the ’80s and ’90s. And I got so many things in the mail that were rotten. So, immediately they get a form letter back. But even that form letter is kind because you don’t want to wreck somebody’s dreams. But you just have to let them know that the music is not for me: If you’re serious about your craft, keep moving forward. Michael Alago,” he said. “Then, there’s tons of music out there that’s like, wow, that’s really good. But, are you great? So, I always had to hone in on ‘I f*cking love this artist’ because they are saying something. They are telling a story. Their anger is going to reach the world.
“Their humanity is going to reach everyone.”
Once he worked directly with an artist, he maintained the same authentic approach. “When I was in a room with an artist, I was very clear about my love. And with everybody, it’s a little different. I might speak to James Hetfield a little different than I would speak to Cyndi Lauper. And I would definitely speak to Nina Simone—who was on a different planet—differently than I would other artists,” Michael recalled. “In the film, Cyndi will say, ‘When I was making a record, Michael chimed in and said, that doesn’t sound like you—that could be anybody.’ You have to lay it on the line and she was thankful. And in the movie, she was like, ‘That’s why we need people like Michael.’
“Whoever said the truth sets you free—right on to that!”
Unfortunately, as Michael became more embedded in the music industry, his love for the music and his artists frequently manifested in excessive drug and alcohol use. “As a young person, I was very outgoing. And when you’re going to L’Amour in Brooklyn and you’re hearing Death Angel and the Cro-Mags—all of these fabulous heavy bands—naturally everybody wants a beer,” Michael explained. “I drank a lot because it was part of the business. I was a record company executive. You’re taking managers, lawyers, publishers, and artists out every night. So you drink. My problem was—that I have an addictive personality. And everything is more, more, more.”
But soon he noticed that his loving and authentic style gave way to anger and irresponsibility. He began a cycle of drug and alcohol dependence and eventually contracted HIV.
“It amped up the f*ck you in a non-loving way. There is no love, it’s just f*ck you if you don’t like me now in the state that I was in. And for me, it all just got very dark. It was nasty. When I was drunk, stoned, high—call it what you like—I think love was the last thing on my mind,” Michael described. “I was just careless and reckless. I was so out there drunk that I didn’t have a care for myself. I didn’t have a care for you. I even stole from my father on his deathbed because I needed drugs. I had no sympathy. That’s what addiction does to you. You just want the drink and the drugs at any cost.
“I was soulless.”
Eventually, after years of addiction, repeated trips to the hospital, and a stint in rehab, Michael resolved to get sober by reconnecting with his basic sense of humanity. He focused on being loving and honest with himself and decided to take action by letting others help him.
“On Sunday, October 21st, 2007—almost 13 years ago—I knew that there were 12-step programs in my area. And you know what, I took a shower and I got my ass to a meeting. I don’t remember how or why. I guess I was fed up with that version of Michael. And I asked for help,” he explained. “When you ask for help, there’s always someone there that can be of service to you. It was the beginning of what would be my new life. And in my new life, I don’t drink or drug no matter what.”
Michael finally got sober and has been clean for years. He became a photographer and is the author of several photography books, including Rough Gods, Brutal Truth and Beautiful Imperfections. He hopes that by sharing his story it will inspire others.
“So once you got sober, you get a new life and you show up for that life. And that means getting back to love and kindness,” Michael said. “I have a renewed sense of faith in myself and in humanity. I come back to 1 Corinthians 13:13 ‘And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.’
“We all have to learn to be, as Rob Zombie would say, more human than human.”
