“Well I saw my face in the mirror
And I am I believe a growing curiosity
Hold my feet to the fire
Cause I am I believe a quivering atrocity.”
From “Failure” by Seether
What’s up Hardcore Humans! This week on The Hardcore Humanism Podcast we talked with Shaun Morgan, founding member, singer-songwriter and guitarist of the hard rock band Seether. Seether has been rocking for over two decades and just released their eighth studio album, Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum — which translates to mean, “If You Want Peace, Prepare for War.” This is a perfect title to capture the discussion with Morgan, who explained his struggle with his mental health and self-concept during the pandemic. Overall, self-concept refers to the broad set of beliefs and emotions that one has about oneself as an individual and in relation to others. And Morgan explained that he often suffers from poor self-concept, even to the point of describing feelings of worthlessness, where he feels that he offers little or no value to the world.
Feelings of worthlessness are actually one of the diagnostic symptoms of major depression. Morgan has explained that he has suffered from depression and has struggled with his self-concept over the course of his life. While depression can often be chronic, with people experiencing multiple episodes of depression throughout their lifetime, many of the symptoms dissipate when an individual is no longer in a depressive episode. For example, an individual who experiences poor sleep and eating while depressed may no longer do so after their episode ends. However, for people who struggle with depression, negative self-concept can persist even after they’ve recovered from a depressive episode. For example, in one study, 132 participants with remitted major depressive disorder were interviewed to determine the presence of negative self-concept as compared to critical thoughts of others. While over 80% of the participants reported negative self-concept including self-disgust, guilt and shame, only 26% reported anger and disgust towards others.
Unfortunately, the COVID-19 pandemic has only exacerbated depression and poor self-concept worldwide. One meta-analytic review of 12 community-based studies found that as many as 25% of people suffer from depression during the COVID-19 pandemic, as compared to roughly 5% prior to the pandemic. Further, it appears that people’s self-concept may be suffering as well. For example, one study of two random samples of adolescents taken prior to and during the pandemic found a significant drop in overall self-concept in participants assessed during the pandemic.
There are several reasons why self-concept and overall mental health may be suffering during the pandemic, including fear of sickness or death for oneself and others, disconnection from loved ones and lack of access to enjoyable activities. Many people may experience stress and low self-concept because they also no longer have access to work. Musicians have been hit particularly hard in this regard as most opportunities to play live concerts have been postponed or canceled.
Morgan talked about how not being able to play live performances has exacerbated his feelings of low self-worth. “I’m just trying to get back to a place where I can understand that I’m not a completely useless human being because I can’t play shows,” Morgan told me. “I have to figure out what else I can do with my life, and which other avenues I can pursue. … So it’s up to me to find something else that makes me feel worthwhile.”
Further, during the pandemic many people do not have access to individual one-on-one therapy that helps them manage their mental health. Morgan explained how he was having to adjust to no longer being able to meet directly with his therapist. “We got no contact for about six to seven months … It was just like a nosedive off a cliff man, it was like full on depression,” Morgan said. “He gave me all these breathing techniques and all these things … But in real life application, it sometimes becomes more difficult to remember to use them, you know. I mean, especially when you don’t have that weekly lifeline where you can go and sort of re-up your capability to deal with the daily stresses and anxieties.”
But Morgan talks about how he is coping with his depression and feelings of low self-worth through readjusting his thinking about his life and priorities, particularly in terms of having more time to spend with his family. “It’s such a double edged sword, because on one hand, I’m seeing my three year old,” he described. “I’m seeing how she develops and grows and how her vocabulary has exploded, and how this little person is slowly emerging from this toddler body. And if I’ve been on the road, I wouldn’t have seen that.”
Listen to the conversation to hear more of what Morgan has to say about coping with his mental health and self-concept during the pandemic.
Photo credit: Jordan Kirby
