“From the crack of dawn until the setting sun
I’m gonna break my back like my daddy done
And teach my children, fist and bone
Blood and kin take care of their own”
From “Rise Up!” by The Cash Collective
What’s up Hardcore Humans! Welcome to another episode of The Hardcore Humanism Podcast. In this episode, we are thrilled to be talking with John Carter Cash. John is music royalty – the only child of the legendary Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash. John himself has worked for years as a music producer and has his own band, The Cash Collective, which recently put out a new album in 2020 called Hey Crow! Now for many of us, one of the first places from which we draw a sense of who we are as people is from our family. For example, one study of 237 female high school students examined the relation between several aspects of family functioning and participants’ self-esteem. Several measures of family functioning, including higher family cohesion and expressiveness, were associated with higher levels of self-esteem.
There are many ways that our family may influence how we see ourselves. That is because as we are figuring out who we are in the world. We are also figuring out who they are, how we feel about them and how they feel about us. Often, we feel that our parents represent a framework for understanding our own lives. And this framework can be constructive as our parents create the context for us to learn about ourselves, grow and thrive. But our parents can also be the first place where we feel that there are barriers in our life as they may have different ideas about who we should be and how we should live our life. As an example, a discrepancy between how we want to live our lives and what our parents want for us may manifest in criticism or even hostility. These processes can be very damaging and even leave us at risk for relapse if we struggle with mental illness.
And so, it’s often a balance to figure out how to appreciate, learn from and emulate our parents while also recognizing the ways that we want to live our lives that may be different from their expectations. Now this process can be complicated enough under more conventional circumstances. But when your parents are music legends it can become confusing as to how you see yourself in the world when they are such a huge part of it. And so, I was curious as to how this process played out for someone like John in his personal development as he explored and carved out his own identity.
One of the interesting insights that emerged from the conversation with John was how he feels that his parents helped him balance having humility while striving for success. There has been increasing interest in the role of humility as a construct that is associated with improved well-being. As an example, one nationwide survey of 3010 participants suggested that humility serves as a buffer – protecting us in part against the negative effects of stress on well-being. Now in developing our own identity and sense of purpose, many of us feel like we have to make a choice – be humble and limited in our ambitions or be somewhat arrogant – even if just privately — and want to take over the world. And John really talks about another option, where one can continue to remain humble and grounded while having aspirations to do great things. In some ways that’s one of the best ways we can connect with ourselves – stay grounded in who we are while at the same time have an eye on using that very humility as an engine for striving to better ourselves and our lives.
