In his book, Evolution Of A Cro-Magnon, John Joseph chronicled the many struggles he’s faced in his life. Joseph is a survivor – of abuse, neglect, homelessness, incarceration and addiction. Joseph is an Ironman competitor and advocate for health plant-based living. And he is an author of several books, including The PMA Effect, and most recently Unf*ck Your Health and Hardcore Kitchen. And now Joseph has turned to life coaching, using his experience and wisdom to help others overcome adversity as he has. And Joseph has summarized his approach to coaching in one simple word – discipline.
During our conversation for the Hardcore Humanism Podcast, Joseph looked back over his life and ascertained that it was discipline that got him through. He recalled his life in the early 1980’s – squatting in abandoned buildings on the Lower East Side of Manhattan while working as a bike messenger and helping build Cro-Mags. “When I applied myself to something and stayed disciplined, no matter what I was going through I was able to overcome it,” Joseph told me. “When I was first beginning with the Cro-Mags, I was living in a burnt out building … no running water, no electricity, no windows, having to tape garbage bags over the windows … writing lyrics by candlelight, taking showers at the fire hydrant in the freezing cold. And then getting on my bike to ride eight to 10 hours a day as a messenger so I could pay for the Cro-Mags rehearsals which I went to after work. And then did it all again, you know, the next day. So it was always that aspect of discipline.”
In his approach to coaching, Joseph insists on leading by example. He feels that the pandemic was an opportunity to improve oneself and further one’s goals. And it shined a light on the fact that many people who had previously claimed they did not have the time to pursue their goals simply did not have the direction and discipline. “If you didn’t get your sh*t done during this pandemic … you didn’t have a lack of time. You had a lack of discipline,” he explained. “Because I wrote new music, I finished two books, I trained for an Ironman Triathlon, which I finished on November 22 in Cozumel. I went to school for life coaching, I was doing my YouTube Hard Truth episodes, you know. So, it’s always you need that direction in life.”
To be sure, discipline has to be understood not simply in the context of success, but in the context of failure. Joseph reflects on his own struggles as opportunities to learn and reassert discipline rather than give up. “It’s what I’ve used for decades now since 1981. And I even slipped up, I fell into addiction from 88 to 90,” Joseph recalled. “But slipping up and giving up is two different principles … It’s not how many times we get knocked on our ass. It’s how many times we get back up and get back into the fight. Because we’re all gonna get knocked on our ass – that’s the material world.”
For Joseph, one of the primary ways that he asserted his discipline and overcame adversity was through seeking out mentorship. Whether it was mentors in the Hardcore Punk community, Iron Man coaches or in his pursuit of becoming a life coach, Joseph has always sought out people who could be helpful in guiding him on his journey. “It’s mentorship, it’s looking for those teachers. Because sometimes it’s like we need that lifeline to be handed to us,” he described. “The teachers that were there — the Bad Brains and the whole community around that. This community that was created down on the Lower East Side of forward-thinking people … People talk about hitting rock bottom. I went under the rocks, man. I was fucking under the damn rocks with the maggots and the worms and the decaying fucking corpses. And where I was at, it was not a good place. And I knew I needed to change … It just seems like every time that teacher that mentor would be there.”
According to Joseph, one of the keys of being a strong mentor is to help affirm an individual’s sense of who they are while recognizing ways for that individual to improve. “A real teacher can carry what you lack and preserve what you have. We’re all lacking in certain things in life. Anybody that thinks they got it all figured out is fool number one, because nobody does,” Joseph said. “It should be a learning process. From the moment we learned how to walk to the moment, you know, they put us in the dirt or ashes or whatever, so, but also a lot of us do have good qualities and we want to fan the spark.”
Part of the mentor’s role in helping instill the discipline necessary to fan the spark is pushing a mentee past where they are comfortable. Getting out of that comfort zone is where we discover our true potential. “No advancement comes in the comfort zone. The advancement comes when we put ourselves in uncomfortable situations … The test of true character is under pressure, right?” Joseph asked. “That’s why in film writing, you have to put the character under the most full … forces of antagonism by the climax of the film. Because at that moment, the real character, the true character of that protagonist will be revealed.”
One of the best ways of building a life plan that encourages pushing the limits and moving beyond our comfort zone is to have a strong action plan. “I’m going to ask that question, ‘Are you happy where you’re at right now?’ … What’s the action plan? There has to be an action plan,” Joseph explained. “And that’s what I want to give them by the end of each session … What are the steps we’re going to take? So that the next time I have a session with you, I’m holding you accountable. Did you do what the f*ck you said you were gonna do?”
Joseph knows that this path is not easy by any stretch. When he gives motivational speeches to people who have struggled, he reflects on how difficult it was to believe that he could change. And he recognizes that because he has struggled, he is more believable as someone who can inspire change. “I’ve been speaking at prisons, I’ve been speaking at gang high schools, drug programs,” he described. “When it was my turn to talk … you start to see the body language. One of the dudes even broke down crying and was like, ‘I can’t believe y’all want to come in and do this for us … Society looks at us like a lost cause. They threw us away’ … And I know what it’s like to be locked up against your will, and have society tell you, you ain’t never going to do nothing but spend the rest of your life in jail or be murdered or whatever the f*ck or never amount to nothing. I was told that. But I had to change that attitude.”
Joseph hopes that all of the people who work with him embrace the spark and develop a life of discipline. If they do, they develop what Joseph calls a “beautiful obsession.” “Because there’s such a thing called the beautiful obsession, right? So, when I get up in the morning, when my eyes open, I can’t wait for my feet to touch the floor to get after it … And until we find something in life, that we love what we’re doing, we’re never going to fill that,” Joseph said. “That hole … everybody talks about that … emptiness, man, I just don’t feel, I just don’t feel like I’m getting anything where I want to be in life … I feel unsatisfied. So that’s what we have to tap into. We have to tap into why that is. That’s part of the coaching … Let’s peel back those f*cking layers of that onion and see what the fuck is going on under there.
“So that’s my job is to get them talking – and me listening.”
