One of the most profound quotes I have ever heard was during the 1989 movie Lean on Me. Morgan Freeman was portraying the late Joe Clark, former Principal of Eastside High School in Paterson, New Jersey. And during a speech designed to motivate the teachers to better educate the students, he bellowed, “Discipline is not the enemy of enthusiasm.” It resonated so strongly because I both knew it was true and yet it was the opposite of how I had lived until that point in my life.
For many of us, the terms “schedule” or “structure” naturally elicit the notion of having a “routine.” We do the same things over and over again with little or no variation. Every day we would wake up at the same time, eat at the same time, work the same hours, exercise at the same time and perhaps relax a bit each day. We are promised that if we can embrace routine, we will have a stable, healthy and productive life. Everything about that approach implies moderation, bordering on boredom. We consent to following a routine at a slow, steady and consistent pace in order to lead an acceptable and “adult” life.
But we assume that there is an implicit trade off. That we are required to give up our passion. We must “grow up” and no longer yearn for exciting and serendipitous events in our lives. We no longer get to dream of being a rock star, pro athlete, or successful actor. Gone are the days of heavy partying, exciting but risky business ideas and frivolous travel. Our hopes of living wild lives have to be checked at the door. Sure, we’d be allowed to have a few drinks here and there, perhaps an enjoyable golf weekend or go on nice trips with our spouse and family. But overall, we needed to finally become adults and recognize that the fun’s behind us. We need discipline, routine and structure now. In fact, any instinct to go outside the box and pursue our passions is dismissed as being permanently adolescent and immature – an existential threat to the discipline and structure we need to be healthy and happy.
Why?
Well, one reason is that it is partly true. Whether we like it or not, in order to be successful at anything, we need to engage in a great deal of repetitive and often boring behavior. Want to have a steady paying job? We’d better be at work day in and day out. Want a healthy life? We need to get regular sleep, eat healthy, exercise and stay away from harmful substances day in and day out. Hoping to have a healthy relationship and family? Just let your significant other know that you don’t feel compelled to be around on a regular basis and you’ll see how that works out. If we want success, we need routine and discipline.
Another reason we assume that discipline is the enemy of enthusiasm is because our first introduction to discipline in the form of routine and schedules was foisted upon us. We were never asked what we wanted – we were just told what to do. There was no buy-in and there was no choice. We had to go to school every weekday. We had to go to bed at bedtime and get up early for school. We had to eat our meals at specified times. Further, if we didn’t do these things, there were negative consequences. We’d get detention or suspended from school, grounded or not allowed to do some of the things we loved. Or in some cases, some of us were even hit or abused emotionally. And if that meant we weren’t having the most fun – so be it. Obey first, ask questions later – if at all- was the safest way to get by and ultimately grow up to have a functioning adult life.
But the problem with this logic is that we have created a false dichotomy. Not only is discipline not the enemy of enthusiasm, but it is perhaps the only way to properly develop and nurture enthusiasm in our lives. It is precisely discipline as manifested in routine, structure and scheduling that allows us to go for the big win. Sure, we can get on stage a few times if we have raw talent. But we’ll never be rock stars, professional athletes or famous actors without enduring years of disciplined practice. And if our purpose is to perfect our craft, we must accept that it will take thousands of hours of a slow and steady grind.
I have been thinking a lot about this issue since talking with Marc Labelle of the Los Angeles-based hard rock band Dirty Honey for The Hardcore Humanism Podcast. When we think of hard rock bands we think of that stereotype of hard-partying stick-it-to-the-man grown-up adolescents who happen to luck out by having some record label pluck them out of obscurity and make them stars. But Labelle – who lived out of his car for almost a year, and then on other people’s porches – immediately put into place a disciplined routine that included exercise, work, consistently pitching his band and playing shows in order to achieve his rock star dream.
So how do we use discipline to foster rather than smother our enthusiasm?
First, we must overtly reject the false dichotomy that discipline is the enemy of enthusiasm. Instead, we must embrace the notion that anything that we may want to do that will ignite our passion and enthusiasm will in fact be predicated on discipline, routine and scheduling. In doing so, we also explicitly reject the notion that an “adult” and “mature” life is one where we must let go of enthusiasm and passion. It is that false message that ultimately interferes with our embracing discipline as the key to an enthusiastic life.
Second, we need to figure out our purpose in life. What gets us excited? What fills us with passion? What makes us feel connected to others? By establishing our vision of the life we want, we implicitly reject the notion that someone else is in control. Thus, the discipline can now be understood in the context of our vision of our life – not someone else’s. Thus, we own it as part of an organic whole – a vehicle for our enthusiasm.
Next, working backwards, we can ask ourselves, “What do we need to do to accomplish our purpose?” What will help us on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly basis to build a life of enthusiasm, passion and connection? We can then set a schedule with incremental steps that will lead us eventually to our goals. And as we go through our days, we can regularly check in to make sure that our routine is in fact the best one for building an enthusiastic, passionate and purpose-driven life. This is an ongoing process of tinkering, as what creates enthusiasm may change and what we can do to achieve our goals may change.
Finally, we need to recognize that as we go through our disciplined life, we won’t always feel enthusiasm. We will often feel that what we are doing is repetitive and boring. And it is. Building enthusiasm is ultimately a grind. But it’s the grind that gets things done. We’ll need to remind ourselves on a regular basis that these mundane and difficult tasks are the things that bring us closer to our goals. And if we follow our routine and embrace the fact that ultimately discipline is not the enemy of enthusiasm, we can have the passionate, purposeful life we hope for.
